I've been a horrible indulgence. I'm like the alcohol that isn't there at that a really shitty party when you need it most.
and I know, that shitty party is your life.
But fear not deadbeat-lovers! I am back and swelling with nothing but tales of debauchery to tell you.
This week we will discuss Porn.
That's right folks, the back alley of the Internet super-highway. Those gazillions of websites not-so-hidden in the cracks of society.
and, let's be serious, your web history.
Watching porn, like masturbation, is something that everybody does or has done. If you haven't you are a fucking liar. It's right there, in the open, for all to google search, you have done it, I know you have. The real point of interest, however, concerns those individuals who do it regularly.
That's most of you.
The Porn Industry, being what it is is like a fucking jungle of individual preference. I don't know what it was like in the 70s (other then hairy), but with the invention of the Internet I feel like shit just got weird. There was all these things that you'd always wanted to secretly jerk of to (or just watch out of pure disgust/amazement) and all the sudden this thing was invented that allowed you do it, in the privacy of your own home.
That's right perverts, back in the day you had to leave your house to get porn. You had to rent it, you had to buy it, and you maybe even had to make small talk with that creepy guy behind the counter. Those were hard times, folks.
Us young folk are privileged, we don't have to own a trench coat and frequent seedy establishments to get our rocks off, we can watch a man fucking a horse, or a dolphin, or Siamese twins are whatever the hell you're into whenever and wherever we want to. Living room, bathroom, even a park bench. Technology is a marvelous thing.
Is it just me or does anybody else long for the days when being a pervert was a big secret and you had be part of some special club with other perverts and sneak around to get to your big secret pervert location.
Here's what I'm saying to you genital lovers, being a pervert just ain't as romantic as it used to be.
These days we're all perverts, every single one of us. Why, just the other day I had a conversation with my roommate about our porn preferences. We both watch porn, and we like it. It is no secret.
Hell, it's not even interesting.
Think about it people, what if we all had to hide who we really were, instead of all this high self esteem and figuring we can wait around to find someone who'll "love us for who we really are". Maybe it might be nice to have to sneak around to get your rocks off or to lie to your girlfriend/boyfriend about your secret fetish till your married and they're too dedicated to leave you. Might make it all more exciting, instead the usual just wankin' it and going back to eating your Cheetos.
You know who you are.
'DILF' of the Week
Alright, so he's an ugly motherfucker but when I watch Phillip Glenister play Gene Hunt in the BBC series 'Life on Mars' and 'Ashes to Ashes' all my anti-feminist ovaries are thinking are "what a man, what a man, what a mighty fine man". Yep, we all love assholes, even me, but I keep it to my fantasies.
Keep your vag for men who will respect you, ladies.
