Like Disneyland for Daddy Issues

I would like to let you all in on a delightful secret about a magical place, one which you have to see to believe. But once you do, you'll never want to leave.

San Francisco is the city of DILFs.

They're everywhere, coffee shops, restaurants, walking down the street, buying GQ, smoking cigarettes on street corners, taking those novel little trolleys and exiting those fantastically phallic shaped buildings in the financial district. They're tall, short, buff, skinny, ginger, blonde, touch of grey, rich, poor, artistic, anything and everything. A DILF for every woman.

My best friend and I visited this magical place about three weeks ago, and although the airport was surprisingly barren of these mystical creatures (it would seem that airports are the origin of every widespread American stereotype and upon entering one the individual is lead to believe that all attractive people live in Canada) the moment our young spry feet touched the pavement of Market street any fears we had about slim pickin's were quieted.

On our daily hikes around the sister my friend and I subconsciously began to participate in a game in which upon spotting a DILF one would say such title, in a variety of tones and specifically when in the company of a third in coughing form. Essentially, we took sight seeing to a whole other level. The DILF hunt began.


The DILF hunt, as it shall be called, is a fairly primal notion. It originates in the ovary's and makes it's way up to the mind disguised as everyday attraction. But if you run into these attractions frequently enough (like I do) you come to recognize that part of the reason you keep flocking towards these 'Just for Men' models is because the caveman part of your brain is over actively searching for a guy that can not only provide the juice for a couple mini humans, but also have the seasoned experience to stick around.

I will caution, however, that our definition of DILF is fairly loose. Rather then classifying a DILF as an attractive male individual who has children, we more so see DILF's as attractive individuals who appear to be over the age of thirty and thus have the potential to be father's (in the societal circumstance, rather then the biological). Let's be serious here ladies, if you're anything like I am you want a DILF but have no urge to become a substitute mother to a step-child that may be closer to your age then their father is. That shit is just awkward.

And now for a new introduction! As inspired by this week's topic I will be adding a little something to spruce up your hump day at the end of every post from here on in, which will be referred to as:

'DILF of the Week'

Christopher Meloni, and actor from Law and Order: SVU. He brightens up my partial unemployment by giving me something to look at whilst watching daytime TV, even with the Crucifixion tattoo.

I may be a deadbeat, but at least I'm good looking.